Most religions speak of oneness, unity and love. Though the construct isn’t exactly the same in each faith, together they point to the longing of every human being to be united with God in love and to express that love to others. But how is it achieved? What creates true unity?

Jesus was once addressing a crowd when he was told that his mother and brothers were outside wanting to speak to him. Before speaking with his natural mother and brothers he used the moment as a teaching opportunity.

Matt. 12:48-50  He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”  Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers.  For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

How does one become so close to Jesus that he calls us family: brother, sister, mother? The answer is tied to obedience: whoever does the Father’s will. Obedient action for God toward others is tied to intimacy with God.

In a similar passage Jesus ties obedience with intimacy: John 14:21 Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”

If we should wonder what we are to obey, Jesus answers that question in John 15:9-14: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. . . . My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.

It seems obvious. Love is not merely a feeling, it is not the absorption of all things into oneness. It is two distinct persons sacrificially giving themselves to each other. Sacrificial love creates the existential feeling of unity, oneness and family.  It is not the reverse.

Closeness is a feeling that follows the tangible action of love. By faith I believe in obeying Jesus and I will love that person as he has commanded me to. The outcome is feeling close to Jesus and often the person we have sacrificially loved.

Jesus is our example. He showed us the greatest love by laying down his life for us. He now calls us friends, family, loved ones if we follow his lead and lay down our lives for him and others. To feel loved, we have to love.

Someone will protest that this is not grace. They will argue that what I am saying is an earning of God’s love. But that is not true. Grace is undeserved. Jesus’ sacrificial love for us was unmerited. Our love for others is to be the same. That is grace. Grace is the motivation for our love for others. Grace does not create passivity but responsibility. We are response-able to God’s love to love others.

Love is not a pietistic platitude, centered solely around immaterial souls and heaven. It is substantive and earthy. Intimacy with the divine, without love for others, is heavenly poppy cock. It is spiritual cotton candy. A mirage. A spiritual state of mind only.

And to have the rock solid subjective assurance that we are one with God, there must be the objective evidence that we are in his family: that his DNA is in us; that we have our Father’s eyes. That truth is seen tangibly in our loving actions for others.

No other disciple was closer to Jesus than John, the Beloved. They were truly friends and he caught this truth. He said:

1 John 4:7, 11-12, 20  Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. . . Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.  No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. . .  If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.

So let’s join the God-family. We believe that Jesus sacrificially loved us and died for our sins. Now let’s authenticate our family line by loving others and experience the oneness that he promised.